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I've been Slacking BIG time, completely aware of it, completely guilty about it, and the same time I know I shouldn't..

What happened since last time.. So In one of my previous posts, I explained about SUA, Single Umbilical Artery, it comes with possible defects and early-birth. It didn't stay that way, well obviously no artery magically appeared, but the thing was that in one of the ultrasounds they couldn't find the second kidney of the baby. No problem you would say, we can donate one, so you can live with only one. True. But the combination of these two both, SUA and one kidney might indicate Syndroms, birth defects and what more.. Here on Rollercoaster started, I've been average 2-3 a week in the hospital now..

Also because of covid-19 we where out of business for a while, my husband is running a business and we where shut down without help of the government. Thats very funny, to have to pay rent for a store and your house, and for food, the business accountant, electricity etc. with no income, because also I was home because I was working in tourism..

The government gave me money the first 1,5 month but then they had problems in checking who was valid to get some and who wasn't, so for 2,5 months, we had nothing..

Right now the business re-opened, but obviously everyone is to scared to come, with a lockdown around the corner for next week as well. Thank you..

At least I got my money (which is not a lot) but enough to get food on the table.

We have and enjoy our beautiful already so big but still small daughter of two years old. And to get a bit of a side hustle I started babysitting. This was a mistake, I could not take on two toddlers while being pregnant with a pregnancy that I need to slow down. So we had a disaster month there, with almost no rest and a lot of tensity.

Last but not least is my husband a student as well, and being in the end of the year it means he has exams, from home, but still. So for the last two months and still 3 weeks to come, he is basically locked up in our bedroom to write papers, to study and to finish his semester.

You can maybe imagine I feel alone and as a single mom a lot of the time..

So to capture our rollercoasters from the last months:

  • pregnancy SUA + one kidney

  • Both out of a job

  • Bills coming in from our business and home

  • irregular salary

  • no daycare

  • husband studying 24/7

It's been a struggle to say the least. on top of that we found our dream home, which we could have got if we didn't had the business that we have, if we had ANY other business we would have gotten a mortgage, but because of corona In combination of having a bar kind of business we are 'not valid for the money' as if covid is going to stick around the full 20 mortgage years.... So big big BIG disappointment, but not finished fighting there. (If we just found this house 2 months earlier......)

Ah well, I think you can imagine I didn't do a thing for my business, half true, in the evening hours I made sure to use my time, I fired a kiln full of ceramics and every hour I had (when the daughter was asleep) I would push myself to the limits to create. I believe in any circumstances anything is possible, so also in these.

That being said, I almost gave birth at 29 weeks, so doctors order: slow down.

With that in mind, I did not finish the last batch and I have nothing to sell, which frustrated me to the bone, gives me panic attacks and mental breakdowns, that can never be good for the baby either.. So this week I will pursue my business plan and create and finish more of what I need to do. Just on a veeeeeerrry low pace :)

See you next time!


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